I’m so sure I need Healthworks to “focus on myself.” I’m plenty self-absorbed already, Kat. I have a blog.

from: Kat at Healthworks

to: Britt

date: Thursday, January 26, 2017 at 11:52am

subject: Need help getting started???

Hi There!

I noticed you were a previous member at Healthworks Chestnut Hill, so I wanted to reach out to check in to see how you are doing with your fitness. We all have something that is motivating us to keep focused on ourselves. What is motivating you? You can rejoin Healthworks and start focusing on yourself today for just $1 enrollment and no membership dues until March 1, 2017. We can your set membership up right over the phone or schedule a time for you to come in for a visit sometime this week. I look forward to hearing from you and learning more about your current fitness goals! This offer ends on 1/31/17

In good health,

Kat Vicino

Membership Advisor, Chestnut Hill, HealthWorks Fitness Centers

Hi, Kat.

I have been trying to unsubscribe from Heathworks emails for YEARS. I hate working out. I’m vain, so I exercise, but joining a gym sounds wretched. Plus, I already pay Equinox monthly for the privilege of not going. I burn more calories blogging about how awful spin class is than actually spinning. NOTHING is motivating me except a closet packed with smallish, pretty dresses. Good luck drumming up business, though! And if you can possible unsubscribe me from chipper emails from Healthworks inquiring about my fitness, that would be amazing. Otherwise, I look forward to burning a few more calories typing these sorts of retorts.

Eating cheese,

Britt

This is me.